Misery Loves Company
by ViolentInk
Summary: What do you do when your lover is being a perverted bastard? Get revenge, of course! But wait...who's tormenting who, now? WeskerxChris
1. Chapter 1: Considering Positions

**AN: Hello there! My second story on this site is a gift for siberian74 (for being plain awesome and offering such great support). Gave me some rather interesting ideas to expand on one of my drabbles from _Snapshot. _Don't worry, you don't have to read that to properly understand this story, but it certainly does help (it's in Part 4). This story is M-rated (because what else do I write?). It does involve Wesker being a pervert...as is my general headcanon for him. Because come on, we all know he's a kinky bastard at heart.**

**/**

**Misery Loves Company**

**Chapter 1 - Considering Positions**

**/**

"Aaah! A-AHHHH! FUCK, _HARDER DAMMIT!"_

Wesker huffed, although it wasn't really audible in between his harsh breathing and low grunts. "Nn...you can...ha...be so _demanding, _pet..." But he leaned down and gave a particularly rough shove of his hips against the brunette's ass, reveling in the shaky yowl the new position and pace drew out of his lover. Chris arched like a cat, pressing his lower body against Wesker's as much as he could with his face buried in the pillow. His legs weren't really co-operating, too busy shaking as his prostate was hit again, and again, and _again-_

Chris couldn't hold it in - the unintelligible scream that ripped from his throat signaled his release, convulsing over and over, tightening almost painfully around his lover's cock as his orgasm coursed through his veins and whited out any conscious thought for several long moments. Collapsing onto the bed, he only vaguely recognised the signs of Wesker finishing; a low, strained groan followed by the feeling of hot cum flooding his insides. Chris panted, giving a weak moan as his lover's thrusts slowed and stopped, before he felt the heavy weight of Wesker's muscular frame slumping onto him.

It took several minutes for him to catch his breath, in which time Wesker deemed it unnecessary to move, laying on top of his lover in a post-orgasm high. Slightly chapped lips grazed the sweat slick neck, granting an involuntary shudder from Chris.

"Feel better, pet?" Wesker murmured languidly, flicking his tongue against the sweat-streaked skin.

The brunette lazily rolled his eyes, allowing himself to be guided onto his side and a strong arm to slip round him. Wesker buried his nose in the young man's scruffy hair with a soft, pleased noise as Chris gave in and cuddled up, letting one arm lounge on top of his boyfriend's chest.

"You're still a complete ass." This was met with a low, deep chuckle, which Chris felt more than heard.

"Excuse me, just _who _was trying to jump me in the car?" Chris scowled, although he couldn't feel much venom at the moment. It was true, although he was humiliated by admitting it. He had just been so revved-up because of that goddamn toy Wesker had insisted he wore to work. By the end of the day he'd been so sexually tense even the slightest touch was enough to send him into paroxysms of pleasure. The only thing he was grateful for was that the plug had already stretched him enough that Wesker hadn't needed to waste precious minutes stretching him. _Although I wouldn't be so...so damn _needy _if it wasn't for that bastard in the first place..._

Said bastard kissed his hairline and drew up the covers. Chris grumbled a little as they shifted to get comfortable. Eventually, after a few minutes of silent cuddling, he lifted his head up.

"Wesker, _why _did you think it was such a good idea to make me wear that..._thing _to work?"

The captain chuckled once more, tracing his fingertips over Chris' shoulders. "Hm. For one, we haven't had sex in public before, and since you draw the line there, I figured what better way than to transcend the foreplay there instead?" The brunette spluttered, but Wesker continued - "I do enjoy seeing you there, completley under my control...it's very erotic. And I do love to give you pleasure-"

"Putting that toy in my ass and teasing me with it all day, but _never _letting me get off is what you call giving pleasure?"

That blasted sexy smirk was on his lover's face again. "You enjoyed it, didn't you? After all..." he gave Chris' ear a soft nibble, making him draw in a sharp breath, "Doesn't it just feel so deliciously _dirty _to do things like that in public, where nobody knows-"

"Jill knew! I _swear _she knows exactly what the fuck was going on! Do you know how bad she's going to be? She'll be teasing me with this for months - dammit, I'll be surprised if she ever lets go of this, and it's all thanks to you, you merciless ass! And _fuck, _don't get me started on Forest-"

Chris continued to babble irritably, with Wesker rolling his eyes affectionately. He'd more than gotten used to the rants he would get from the young man every time they tried something new or something even mildly kinky (although what he, Wesker thought of as kinky and what Chris thought fell into that category was miles apart - Wesker liked costumes, handcuffs and trying it everywhere they could, whereas Chris was more of the traditional lover). Eventually they fell asleep, but not before Chris muttered something about getting revenge.

In retrospect, Wesker really, _really _should have paid attention to that.

**/**

"Have fun last night, Chris?"

Baby-blues shot a venomous glare to Jill, who simply snickered devilishly, leaning against Chris' desk. It was the morning following the toy incident (a Thursday) and while things were rather quiet about the station, there wasn't really that much to do. Chris almost wished there was. After all, if there was work to be done, he wouldn't have Jill coming up and bugging him like this. "Don't tell me. Lover-boy had you up all night again, didn't he?"

Chris contemplated whether or not throwing a tantrum would make him less of a man; well, less of one than he already was - after all, he was both gay _and _the bottom, plus a lot of women seemed to call him 'cute' - he was not _cute! _He was a _man, _and men were _handsome, _not cute or adorable or _whatever! _A few moments of contemplation had him thinking that no, it wasn't really worth throwing a bitch fit...not just yet, anyway.

"You know that's not the reason!" He quickly checked around, desperate to make sure no-one else overheard the conversation. When he was sure no-one else was really listening, he continued in a harsh whisper - "Y-you know the reason! I could _feel _your pervert-radar going off-"

"E-excuse me?" Jill was obviously trying very hard not to burst into laughter. "_Pervert-radar? _Where do you even come up with these things?" She startled giggling, making Chris pout and thump his head on his desk with a hard _klunk_, which just made Jill laugh harder.

Chris groaned in defeat. "Oh shut up. Shut up, go away, and leave me here to seethe in peace, please."

His friend's giggles slowed as she got a handle on her laughter. She dusted some imaginary dirt from her trousers and retorted playfully, "But why would I do that? It's so much fun to tease you, and you're so _cute _when you blush-"

"I'M NOT CUTE, DAMMIT!" He hit his fist on the desk, nearly sending his half-full mug of coffee on the floor. He scowled at the woman, only to have her raise an eyebrow. The outburst had attracted quite a bit of attention, including a very confused looking Barry. Chris flushed lightly, then huffed and slumped on his desk, practically radiating irritation. After a few moments of silence, in which everyone else but Jill had gone back to work, Jill sighed dramatically.

"Oh come on, Chris. Don't act like a five-year-old just because Wesker had his wicked way with you. You know, a lot of women would love to be swept off their feet by such a strong, intelligent man. Consider yourself lucky."

"Don't compare me to a woman...I already feel enough like one as it is..." Chris grumbled quietly. "Plus, none of them know what a damn pervert he is. I bet if they did, they'd go off him like, in half a second. The only reason I stay with him is that I love the bastard too much..."

Jill rolled her eyes. "Calling your boyfriend of over a year a bastard isn't very romantic, hun. Besides, what's a good sex life without one of you jazzing it up from time to time?"

"He-w-well...do you _know _what he _did_ yesterday?"

Jill looked thoughtful for a moment before she spoke. "Well, sort of. Why don't you share the juicy details with your Auntie Jill, mmm?" Chris grimaced. "Okay, maybe the auntie thing was a bit too much...but come on, I'm you're best friend. I share with you all my boyfriends and sex-capades, go on and do a girl a favor?"

"Uhm...", Chris looked around nervously, before beckoning Jill to come closer. She leaned down as he moved to whisper in her ear.

"Oh...oohh!" Even Jill blushed a little at his words. "So he put it up your-and it _vibrated?_"

"_Don't say it out loud!" _Chris hissed, flushing at even the thought of it. His ass _still _hadn't recovered! Jill regained her composure quite quickly, sipping some water from a bottle while she thought. _  
_

"Wow...I knew he was a little bit adventurous, but that's just _sordid. _ Deliciously so...sounds like something out a really good erotica."

Chris went even redder. "Don't remind me of that...please. I swear whenever I even think about sex it just summons him." The female STARS officer shook her head in amusement as the brunette continued, "Ugh, sometimes I just wanna see how the bastard will do without sex - see how _he _likes it when he's sexually tormented."

"Well, why not do that?"

Chris blinked. "Heh?"

"You know, cut him off from sex for a while. Maybe don't tell him you're doing it. Whatever you want to do...hey, why not say you're giving it up for Lent? That's coming up in a few days." Chris raised an eyebrow skeptically, to which Jill responded, "I mean, sure, it may seem a little cliche, and maybe it's just over a month, but all the better, huh? Let him realize what he's missing and I guarantee you he'll be more...well, less kinky after that, and much more appreciative of you, mm?"

The pointman lent back in his chair, considering it for a minute. "Maybe...I mean, I don't know...I did say to myself yesterday I should get some sort of revenge...but isn't a month a little much? I want to get revenge, not kill him."

Jill scoffed. "Wesker won't die from a month without any nookie. He might be a bit bitchy, but as far as I know no man's ever died from blue balls." Chris still looked unsure, so she sighed, patting his shoulder. "Just give it some thought hun. You don't have to go along with it." As she left, the brunette slumped on his desk again with a sigh. Today was turning out to be all kinds of troublesome...

**/**

Chris heaved a deep sigh as he slung the groceries on the countertop in his and Wesker's shared upscale apartment. _Man, it's been a slow day..._he stretched, cracking his knuckles and starting on sorting the bags out. It was only half-four (having been let out of work early) so Wesker wouldn't be home for a good few hours, giving him plenty of time to think.

Not that he hadn't spent most of the day thinking about what Jill had said, of course. That little seed of an idea she had planted inside his mind kept growing, but every time he had found himself dwelling on it he had shoved it to back of his head. _Ridiculous, _he thought, _what was I even thinking..._but the monotonous task of putting away the groceries and getting started on making dinner kept his mind occupied.

But once the chicken pasta was in the oven, he found himself with nothing to do. He didn't have to do any paperwork (which he was ridiculously thankful for) and he didn't have to fend off his overly amorous boyfriend...

Chris scowled. _And back to this again. _As much as he loved Wesker, the man could be seriously aggravating. Whether it was his holier-than-thou attitude or vigorous sex drive, the man could still rev his anger up. Although he had to admit their relationship just wouldn't be the same without their ridiculous arguments. With another harsh release of breath, he settled for straightening up the apartment a bit. Dusting down the large television and straightening out the sofa, his mind continued to race.

_Maybe it would be a good thing for us. Sometimes it seems all he thinks about is sex. Maybe this will get him to slow down, like Jill said...or at least lay off the dirty stuff for a while. And..._he frowned, stopping what he was doing for a moment..._just maybe he'll be a bit more romantic after this? Yeah...yeah, that's it! He'll see that sex isn't everything! He damn well deserves to go without it too, for what he put me through! _Chris nodded, an ear-to-ear grin spreading across his features. _It's the perfect plan!_

With a victorious whoop, he punched the air! "Yes! Operation Get Revenge is go!" Spinning on the spot in a little victory dance, he yelped as his legs got caught up on a bag, and managed to land face first on the floor. Said 'operation' wasn't starting out very well for him.

And as it turns out, it was easier said than done.

Wesker eventually showed up at about six o'clock, kissing Chris lazily in greeting. They sat down for dinner; all the time Chris was trying to maintain an air of normalcy, whilst inside his brain was running at a hundred miles a minute. _What'll he say when I tell him? Could he really go without sex for a month? What the hell is he going to be like without getting any, anyway? Dammit Jill, this is all your fault! You just have to see him at work, but I have to _live _with the fucker!_

"Pet?"

Chris snapped out of his reverie with a start, quickly realizing Wesker was staring at him with an amused smirk. "Drifting off again? Now now, I didn't keep you up that late last night..." The brunette rolled his eyes.

"Hmph. You wish." _Playful banter. Good, good. Heh, maybe this won't be such a hard thing to do after all._

A warm chuckle. "Very funny pet. Now why don't you tell me what's on your mind, hm?" And just like that, Chris' confidence sank right back down again. _Fuck! _He shifted in the wooden chair uncomfortably, considering carefully how to make his next move. He fiddled with the cutlery absently, as his lover waited patiently. Nothing in the house sounded, apart from the soft noise of the kitchen radio on some jazzy music station.

"Wes...y-you know Lent's coming up, right?"

"Mmhm. What about it?"

"Well...I-I'm going to give up sex."

**/**

**AN: Cliffhanger! You'll have to wait till the next chapter to see Wesker's reaction. You know, it occurs to me that I haven't written a full sex scene for these two, yet. They're always just starting, in the middle or just finishing. Well, that's bound to change during this lovely little tale, kukuku. Also, what did you guys think of Jill? I tried to make her very much the 'best friend and confidante' role, who can tease Chris without really meaning it. If you please could review, I love hearing feedback from you guys as it just makes my day! Also, hope you liked the first chapter, siberian! I'll be updating this as soon as I've finished the next chapter.**


	2. Chapter 2: Deal with the Devil

**AN: I know leaving you guys on that cliffhanger was just plain mean...but it seemed like such a nice place to stop off. I'm going to _try _and make the chapters a bit longer now, but sometimes you just get to a spot in the story and think that's good for one part, y'know? Anyway, ON WITH IT!**

**/**

**Misery Loves Company**

**Chapter 2 - Deal with the Devil**

**/**

Silence reigned throughout the apartment for several long seconds. Even the radio seemed to have quietened down to add to the tension. Suddenly, Chris heard something in the stillness. A low, soft snicker...coming from Wesker? The laughter grew in volume quickly, until the usually calm, aloof man was roaring with laughter.

_Has he...has he lost it? _Chris could do nothing but stare in shock at his lover, who was now clutching his stomach and was in pure hysterics. _Oh-oh god, I think I might have broke him! Dammit, I knew this was a dumb idea! _He fervently hoped this was just an out-of-character moment, and not his boyfriend completely losing his marbles. _I just took a hammer to his sex-obsessed brain...Christ, maybe he _has _actually lost it!__  
_

Slowly Wesker started to regain his usual demeanor, but not without the addition of a very amused smirk. "Aha...that's just _hilarious, _love. I haven't heard something that funny in a long, long time." He took a quick swig from his beer and shook his head. "Giving up sex for lent...ha!"

Chris frowned. "I'm _serious, _Wesker! I'm going to give up any form of sex for forty days!"

"You're serious, aren't you."

"Y-yeah. I am. I'm giving up sex for Lent. Forty days without any form of _that_."

Chris watched as he could practically hear the cogs whirring inside Wesker's brain. He always did get that particular expression when he was thinking cautiously; when his eyes seemed to almost focus on nothing at all and he began to almost resemble a marble statue, he was so still. To be honest, the brunette was just glad Wesker didn't seem pissed off. If anything, he seemed...amused? It sounded like the right word for it, but he thought the blonde might have taken this a little more seriously than he was at the moment. He had to admit, it made him somewhat nervous.

The slow smirk that made its way across his lovers face a moment later just made it worse.

"I give you one week, dear heart. One week before you're absolutely begging me." Chris snorted, rolling his eyes. He had definitely picked up one or two of his lover's habits over the last year or so of living together. One of them being the eye-roll whenever something particularly stupid was uttered. Chris had been on the receiving end of that eye-roll many, many times. Before and after they had gotten together.

He sighed heavily before replying, "Unlike you, Wesker, I can spend more than an hour without the need for a good fuck, because unlike you I don't think with my dick 24/7. Honestly, you'd think our roles would be reversed, what with you being middle-aged and all-"

"Thirty-five is NOT middle-aged!" Wesker growled indignantly.

The brunette scoffed. "Well, to me it is. You know what? I think you're so worried that you're not going to last even 48 hours without shagging me, that you're trying to convince me to drop this idea before I get any conviction for it! Well, you're wrong, I _do _have the balls to do something like this and I'm going to prove it! From next Tuesday, which is in..." he glanced at the wall calander, "...four days, I will not engage in sexual relations with you for the whole of Lent, and that's _final!" _Chris folded his arms and grinned. _Ha. See how he likes that!_

Another silence fell between them, lasting what felt like a lot longer than the last one. Wesker was simply staring blankly at him, and Chris began to shift under his gaze. _Well? Isn't he going to react? Do anything? Fuck, I think this is worse than having him get mad! Angry Wesker I can handle, but this one... absolutely just creeps me out. _Chris was about to ask if Wesker was alright (it was really getting quite disconcerting now) when the blonde's mouth split into a devious ear-to-ear grin.

"You know, you're sounding more and more like the woman in this relationship every day. It's quite fitting."

"WHAT?"

"Trust me, you won't last till Friday. You'll be begging on your knees to have me make love to you. Oh, I can hear it now." Still looking maniacal, he shifted his voice into a higher pitch in imitation of Chris, "'_Oh Albert, you were right, you were so right! I need you so badly! Please, bend me over and show me the meaning of bliss-'"_

"I GET IT, I GET IT! You don't think I'll go that long-"

"_Shove your big, fat cock up my tight little ass! Fill me up with cum, make me your bitch, Master-"_

"OH GOD WILL YOU SHUT UP!" With that, Chris stormed out of the room in a strop, leaving one chuckling Wesker all by himself in the kitchen. _I'm gonna show that blonde git just who wears the damn pants in this relationship if it's the last thing I do!_

**/**

Chris (and his ass) were currently wondering if it was really worth giving up sex for a month if Wesker was going to be...like _this _for the entire three days that led up to Shrove Tuesday. Everyone (surprisingly) had the day off on Monday, for some reason. Chris only vaguely recalled it was because of some local festival or something like that. Wesker had taken that opportunity to unleash what he called 'the perfect weekend'.

It turned out that the perfect weekend for Wesker was wake up at 10 oclock on Saturday morning, shag Chris, have a good cup of coffee and breakfast, then fuck Chris again, indulge in some dozing around noon, shower (with Chris, of course, which meant another round), eat lunch, then proceed to bang his lover on the kitchen table...and so on and so forth. Chris was secretly praying for the man to get erectile dysfunction just for a while, so him and his ass could remain unmolested for 10 bloody minutes! He knew it sounded so very cruel, but what else could he do? _Now I know how being a woman feels. _It did not add to his slowly dwindling sense of manliness.

The only respite he was going to get that weekend from his lover's advances was when Wesker went to meet up with a friend of his for lunch on Sunday. He hadn't asked who this person would be, nor did he care. All he knew was that he was going to get a few precious hours when he would be able to try and find the perfect hiding place so he didn't end up not being able to move. _Maybe if I went to Claire's for a bit...although Wes would probably just drive up there, haul me over his shoulder and bring me back here. Probably 'punish' me too..._Chris shuddered. Whenever Wesker 'punished' him in bed, he was guaranteed pure torture that would end in an intense orgasm that made him see stars, and sometimes even black out for a bit.

Just a few more days and then he would be in the clear for an entire month. No molesting, no wierd sex ideas from Wesker, no not being able to sit down properly and have Jill snigger at him for it, none of that. If only he realized then just what was in store for him, he may have given up right then and there._  
_

**/**

"Oh, hello Albert, how are you-"

"Chris is giving up sex for Lent."

William Birkin blinked. "W-what? Since when were we sharing facts about our lives instead of a proper greeting?"

"Since now." Wesker sat down on the seat opposite Birkin in the small, upper-class cafe, getting comfortable before responding properly. "No, but what I said is true. For that damned Christian tradition, which Chris had never followed once in his life before, he is giving up sex."

"Uh...good for him? I don't know what you're trying to do by talking about this...frankly, it's disturbing." Birkin was utterly and completely confused. Wesker didn't really talk to him much about his relationship with Chris, so why start now? And why on this topic? It made absolutely no sense. Although he had a very bad suspicion that he was going to find out very soon.

"I thought it was clear by my tone, _William, _that I am not happy about this. I am greatly disapproving of Chris cutting me off from that magnificent arse of his for over a month for some ridiculous thing that doesn't concern us whatsoever."

Birkin felt like smashing his head on the table and begging the Lord to strike him down. "Albert, in case you're forgetting, we did _not _come out to lunch to discuss your sex life!" He was trying to keep his voice down as much as possible, so as to not attract attention from the other customers. Honestly, this was not the time and place for such a thing! In fact, Birkin would be far, _far _more comfortable if they kept Wesker's sex life as far away from the conversation as possible. It wasn't as if he had a problem with his friend being gay, but he wasn't quite supportive enough that he wanted to hear every last detail, thank you very much. Also he was very much straight, so hearing about two guys getting it on was not high on his to-do list.

"No, no we didn't. We came out to lunch to get food and catch up, and I'm informing you of the latest developments in my life. Is that a problem?" Birkin mentally groaned. _Damn him and his logic. _Albert had always been the one who excelled in that sort of field, whereas Birkin was far more comfortable in his laboratory.

"Ugh...no. I just don't feel like hearing about your relationship with that boy!"

Wesker raised an eyebrow. "But don't I sit there and listen while you whine like a child about your wife and kids? As my confidante, I think I should be entitled to talk about my life at some points, don't you? Seems strange otherwise. And Chris is not a 'boy', he's my _lover. _Get it right."

Birkin was about to respond when the overly-perky waitress came over and asked for their order. Having placed them, a short silence followed before he spoke up again. "He's 22, Albert. You're 35. If that doesn't scream, pardon my language, 'boy-toy', then what does?" Maybe he could steer them into an argument about semantics or some such, and get away from this rather touchy subject of two grown men getting it on like rabbits.

"Whilst he may be immature, strange and sometimes annoying, Chris is my partner and has been for a year and a half. We are not going to be breaking up anytime soon, which is why I need your help with this matter of Chris giving up sex for this ridiculous tradition."

Birkin sighed. _Knew it wouldn't be that easy..._he silently sent a prayer to whatever deity might be listening that if spontaneous combustion was not available for him, at least give him the strength to bear this awkward conversation to its end. "Alright then, what the hell do you want me to do about this..." The scientist sounded very much like an old miser who realized that fate had nothing in store but very, very bad things for him.

"Simple. I need you to give me ideas on how I can change his mind."

"Change his mi-no. No way in hell! I am _not _getting involved with your little domestic disputes. If something goes wrong, all you're going to do is blame me! I've got way too much to worry about already without fearing you're going to chase me down and try to slaughter me because I accidentally make your lover-boy hate your guts!" In hindsight, he really, _really _should have been expecting this from the moment Wesker had walked in and made that announcement of his. That deity still hadn't gotten back to him on the whole self-immolation thing, either. It looked like he was on his own for this one.

Wesker massaged the bridge of his nose in irritation. "Look, all I need is for you to give me some advice on how I can make him come around to seeing that this is a bad idea, that's all. It's not like I'm asking you to go talk to him about it yourself." Birkin glared at him, and he glared back. This continued for almost a minute, only being interrupted when the waitress brought their drinks over. After several more minutes silence, the scientist finally gave in.

"Fine. Fine! I'll help you out with your little problem, but by God do you owe me for this."

Wesker's evil little smirk came back onto his face. "Knew you'd see it my way eventually." Birkin only grunted in reply, sipping his coffee with the air of someone who really, really did not want to be there. Maybe meeting up with his old college friend was a mistake, at least this week. Birkin sighed as Wesker raised an expectant eyebrow. This was going to be a long lunch. He just hoped that once this was over, he and Wesker could go back to their normal topics of conversation, and not this rather awkward one of homosexual relationships and the problems therein. Honestly? Birkin wasn't placing any bets.

**/**

"Hide me, hide me, hide me, _hide me!_"

Claire Redfield barely had time to open the door of her studio apartment before Chris was rushing in, scanning the room desperately for a hiding place. "Chris, what-" she cut herself off when she saw him dash to her bed and start attempting to cram himself under it. Letting out a frustrated noise, she walked over and tried to pull him back with his shirt firmly clenched in her hand.

"Honestly Chris, what has gotten into you?" She huffed as he stopped, turned around and sat on the bed instead. Claire honestly could not comprehend why Chris had stayed in a relationship with Wesker for so long. There was that whole love thing, but the way Chris constantly complained about his boyfriend, the whole thing was beginning to wear a little thin with her. But Chris was her brother, and whatever decision he made she would stand by. It wasn't as if the captain was at all bad-looking; one could probably mistake him for a male model at a glance. It was just his personality left absolutely everything to be desired.

"Wesker's a _pervert!"_

Claire raised an eyebrow, as if to say 'and this is news to you'? She loved Chris, but Jesus the guy could be dense sometimes.

Her brother sighed, looking up at her pleadingly. "What I mean to say is, he's being more a complete pervert than usual. I mean, it's usually pretty bad in that department, yeah, but he's even worse right now! All because I said I was going to give up sex for Lent, I mean it's not like his thing is gonna drop off if he doesn't use it every single goddamn day-"

"Woah woah woah! Firstly, ew. I don't need to hear all the details. And secondly, just what is this about you giving up sex for Lent or something?" Whilst she certianly didn't need to hear about her brother getting it on, thank you very much, she had a very big soft spot for gossip. In high school she had been known as the 'megaphone', and this sounded just too good to pass up.

Chris groaned. "Well, yeah. I'm tired of him treating me as if sex is all I'm good for. Jill put me up to it, said I should take a stand."

Claire looked sympathetically at her brother. "Oh Chris...Chrissy Chris Chris...you're doomed."

"Well, that's-what? What do you mean, 'I'm doomed'?" Chris' face had gone from pleading to indignant in a matter of seconds. "I happen to think that I can take care of myself, thank you very much! You're my little sister, you're meant to be supporting me all the way!"

"It's not that I don't support you, Chris..." she sat on the bed next to him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, "...it's just that, do you really think this is going to work? I mean, for one thing it's Wesker we're talking about. Do you think just because you say you're gonna give up sex for Lent, that's gonna stop him? He's still gonna try, big brother. And secondly-"

Claire was cut off when she heard a deep chuckle from across the room. "Oh, how sweet. Am I interrupting a little family moment here, dear heart?" Chris' eyes shot open and up at the tall blonde man standing across from them. "So sorry to be intruding, but I do believe Chris is in violation of our little weekend schedule-"

The younger Redfield lept up, fury pouring out of every pore on her body. "Wha-WEEKEND SCHEDULE? AND JUST WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE CONTROLLING CHRIS LIKE THIS?"

"I happen to be his _partner. _And he happens to enjoy our little scheduled 'events' just as much as I do, Redfield."

"DON'T PATRONIZE ME YOU OLD BASTARD! YOU'RE SICK!"

"For the love of God, 35 is NOT old! What about all those actors you women swoon over? They're at _least _my age, if not older-"

Chris wondered if it were possible for him to disappear from existence. As he sat there, watching the argument escalate, he also thought that some deity must have it in for him really, really bad. After all, how else did he get into situations like this?

**/**

**AN: I know Wesker laughing at the start was probably a little OOC, but hearing something like that was bound to snap something. Plus I love it when Chris frets. I also love tormenting Chris, CAN YOU TELL. I honestly wasn't going to add the bit with Claire till the next chapter, but it came up a little short otherwise. And I had to rewrite it...twice. No, but seriously I want to thank all of you who are reading this for being so patient with me when it comes to updating this thing. Uni is ending in a few weeks, so I will have a lot more free time to work on this then. Please review and hope you enjoyed!**


	3. Chapter 3: Mind over Matter

**AN: And so we move on to the actual plot of this story. I know I have a bit of a tendency to ramble; do you guys like or dislike it? Let me know in those delicious reviews of yours. And I'm sorry for the lack of smexings. There will be much, much more sexy times later on in the fic. In the meantime, enjoy the immense sexual tension-I mean story, yes, that is totally what I meant.**

**/**

**Misery Loves Company**

**Chapter 3 - Mind Over Matter**

**/**

The shrill bleeping of the small device next to the bed woke the younger inhabitant from his sleep. Blearily he blinked, once, twice, then threw his hand at the clock in order to get it to shut up. Several unsuccessful attempts later, a larger hand cut off the painful noise, before settling on the stomach of the younger man.

Wesker lazily nuzzled closer, burying his face in Chris' soft, messy bedhead as he spooned the younger and smiled. The past three days had been nothing short of perfect...well, apart from that time when Chris had tried to hide at his sister's place, and Wesker had to go all the way across town to get him back, not to mention have a long argument with Chris' brat of a sister. He had enjoyed the game of 'cat and mouse' they'd played once they had gotten home, though...all troubles aside, he couldn't think of a time he had felt more satisfied, both mentally and physically. He heard the brunette murmur something dazedly, obviously still mostly asleep. Chris was adorable when he was in this state, although you would never catch the blonde admitting that out loud. He was also so very molestable, and Wesker would very happily admit to that, thank you. Especially when the boy shifted _just _enough to rub his ass enticingly against his groin...

With a low purr, the blonde starting pressing butterfly kisses to the side of Chris' neck, the hand on the brunette's stomach starting to make slow, pleasurable movements. It continued further down to a sensitive hipbone, slightly coarse fingertips rubbing the smooth skin it found there. A small noise came from his lover, a cross between a sigh and a low moan. Wesker couldn't help but grin. Soon enough he would have the poor boy not just moaning, but _screaming._

"Wake up, pet."

He barely caught the soft mumble of "I don't wanna..." from his boyfriend, and chuckled. _Oh, you will in a minute, dear heart._ He took an earlobe between his teeth, nibbling slightly as his hand moved so it could brush against the inside of his lover's thigh. Chris shifted further, eyes fluttering in the motions of waking up. His eyes snapped open, however, when he felt the large hand moving towards his shaft.

"Nn-Wes? J-just what are you doing?"

Wesker raised an eyebrow at the indignant tone his lover put on. Normally Chris complained a little about morning sex, but he always gave in. He certainly never got like this about it. Oh well. Wouldn't be long before that tone changed from indignant to almost whoreishly pleading for him...he felt his cock give a twitch at the mental image. He smirked before pressing his shaft up against the cleft of Chris' perfect ass, giving a teasing rock of his hips.

"What do you think I'm doing, love?" He whispered in Chris' ear, giving it a soft nip. The brunette turned from pink to bright scarlet, and began squirming incessantly to get out of the blonde man's grip. Wesker frowned, tightening his grip around his lover's waist. Something was wrong. A little niggle in the back of his mind thought it had the reason, but he ignored it. He would much prefer getting the information from the source.

"Chris...?" Wesker turned the officer over onto his side, so he was face to face with the indignant man. "Is something wrong, pet?"

Chris huffed angrily, eyes narrowing. "Y-you idiot, don't you remember what day it is?"

Wesker blinked.

"I don't remember there being a National Sex Amnesty day..."

A frustrated scream was quickly followed by Chris leaping out of bed, eyes flashing with rage. The blanket had slipped off of him when he had jumped up, revealing his fully nude form to his lover. Wesker's shock was dampened by the very, _very _alluring sight of Chris' half-hard manhood. The urge to reach out and stroke it was immense, but the urge to not get slapped was ever-so-slightly larger.

"HEY! Eyes up HERE you perverted bastard!"

"But your dick is down _there._"

Chris wasn't a violent person by nature, for all he was seriously considering beating Wesker's head in with a chair. He took a deep breath, and counted to five before he released it. _Calm, Chris, calm. You can do this. You can get it through that fucking stubborn head of his that you are serious about this. It's for a good cause, it's for a good cause..._although his hand twitched with the yearning to smack him upside the head when he saw the man was still paying absolutely zero attention to his face.

"Today is the start of-_will you goddamn look at me when I'm talking to you? _Ugh...today is the start of Lent, Wes. Remember what I'm giving up?" The look on Wesker's face was somewhat blank, then realization flickered in his eyes.

"...you're not serious. You _can't _be damn well serious! A couple of days without sex, sure! But a whole _month? _That's just ridiculous!"

"It's not ridiculous, Wesker. If you love me, you'll let me do this." The blonde sighed, knowing he was caught in a trap. He looked almost balefully at his lover, and for a moment Chris almost considered giving in.

"Christopher, you know I love you. So why do you have to give up sex for a month? It's no use fighting basic human desires. They're there for a reason, everyone knows that. So why do you insist on resisting them? It's fighting nature!" When he saw his argument was not swaying the brunette, he scowled. "For the love of all that's good, you've got to be kidding me!"

Chris crossed his arms in front of his chest with a smug look on his face. He didn't realize he would enjoy seeing his lover so stupidly indignant over lack of sex. "Well, you brought this on yourself, big guy. Maybe next time you'll be a little more grateful about your ability to have sex, mm?" And with a bark of laughter, Chris strolled out of the room and towards the shower.

**/**

_Well, fuck._

After Chris had left the house to go pick up his sister, Wesker lay in bed wondering just what he'd gotten himself into by letting the boy have his fun like this. Birkin had been completely unhelpful (no surprises there, after all it was _Birkin_). All the scientist had been able to babble was about how if Wesker thought that it was all a front, then Chris would be at his knees in days. But he couldn't think of any other way to persuade the brunette that no sex for a month was a bad idea, so he had been forced to go with it. He should really have known that Birkin would be so terrible with relationships. The amount of times he'd listened to the man bawling about his wife and kids really did say that he was not an expert on the subject. Then again, neither was Wesker.

He finally dragged himself out of his depressing thoughts long enough to get ready for work and grab a homemade savory muffin from the counter (one of his favorite things about living with someone who could actually cook). But his train of thought took up the subject once more once he was stuck in the morning rush-hour traffic. To distract himself, he flicked through his radio almost absently.

_Classical sonatas...no, not today...music station...ugh, this is what counts for music these days? News station...how many times are they going to play that damn meerkat advert? It wasn't funny the first time...but Chris loves the thing. He even wanted to get one of those damn toys with the little clothes and everything. He even wanted a replica of the damn animal's suit! I'd much prefer him in a bathrobe, with nothing underneath. Or just naked in general. Or wearing one of those garter belts with the stockings-_

He practically smacked himself when he realized that even a stupid insurance advert got him thinking about Chris. And sex. And sex with Chris. And sex with Chris right now in the back of his car. He rubbed his forehead, trying to dispel the oncoming headache as his car inched forward in the heavy traffic. _Fuck. _Actually, no. Fucking is what supposedly had gotten him into this mess. While he wasn't sure of every intention behind Chris' refusal of sex, he thought that too much sex (as if there was such a thing) was part of it. Somehow, if he wanted to make sure his balls didn't burst or wasn't constantly suffering from wanker's cramp, he'd need to worm his way around every reason Chris had for doing such a thing and completely disprove them. For while he loved Chris so much it actually hurt sometimes, this whole sex-ban was a little extreme.

_Hmm..._and of course Wesker, being Wesker, got an inkling of an idea in his brain. Only an inkling, but he was sure that with some good old fashioned TLC he could nurture it into a full on plan. As the lights finally turned green, he pushed on the accelerator and continued to work, brain working at one hundred and twenty percent to work this out. But amongst all this, one thought reigned supreme.

_If this is what I'm like less than twelve hours without sex...how the fuck am I going to survive a month?_

**/**

Chris couldn't remember feeling as good as this for a long, long time.

It was as if he got some sort of sick kicks from seeing his lover in obvious pain. Well, maybe not actual pain, but stress from not being able to get laid. For him, it was sort of like revenge for all those times he had barely been able to walk right in the morning. Boy, did it feel good coming into work and being able to sit down without pain in his ass. He jiggled from side-to-side in his chair gleefully, enjoying the absence of pain as he rubbed his ass against the leather of the chair. Chris couldn't remember a plan of his going so good in, well...ever.

So far, one of his main worries about blue-balling the captain was proving to be unfounded. Wesker wasn't suddenly screaming at everyone in the office, nor was he ruling the place with an iron fist. In fact, Chris hadn't seen him all morning. He knew the man was there, it just appeared that the blonde was staging some sort of hide-out in his office to avoid running into Chris at the moment. _At least this means I get a little peace during the day for once..._

"Hey, sport." Chris glanced up to see Forest walking over to him with a brimming cup of coffee. Chris gave a small wave of acknowledgement, fiddling with his pen as he read through a report. A few moments later, he realized Forest had not gone past him, as he thought the man would, but was standing in front of his desk with a strange look on his face. Something between puzzlement and suspicion. He raised an eyebrow.

"Forest...you okay?"

The officer almost jumped up, apparently startled by his friend's query. "WHA-huh? Oh, uh, yeah, yeah, I'm cool. I was just wondering, you know..." Forest trailed off, obviously hoping Chris would pick up the subject. Not that Chris felt he had much choice. He knew what it was Forest wanted to know, although he had been hoping to avoid it for a few days, at least. Forest was never really much of a secret-keeper, and once he knew something, everyone in a ten-mile radius would know in a matter of hours. His reputation as a blabbermouth didn't really concern Chris, though. The story would have come out at some point during the month, anyway.

"Wondering _what, _Forest?"

Forest at least had the decency to look a little embarrassed. "Uh...well...the hell's up with you and Wesker?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play games with me, dude. You know I don't got a problem with you and the captain, but something's up with him. It's not like the bastard to not come and torment us every hour or so. When he got in he practically ran to his office and locked himself in there."

Normally, Chris would have been concerned and a little worried. Normally, that is. What Chris could tell from what Forest had said was that Wesker was not in any trouble whatsoever, or doing anything untoward. Instead, the thirty-five year old blonde STARS captain, well-known for making even the most rebellious people obey him with one cold glare, was sulking like a little child who wasn't allowed to play with their favorite toy (which was a more accurate analogy than he would like).

Knowing there was absolutely no use in keeping a secret from Forest (one way or another he would find out) Chris sighed in resignation. "Well, he's just sulking because I told him I was giving up sex for Lent."

A moment of pure silence ensued. Then, without warning, the other man burst into roaring laughter.

"Gi-give up s-sex for Lent? W-with _Wesker?" _That was all the redhead managed to choke out before he doubled over, clutching his stomach almost in agony. Chris gave an embarrassed huff, eyes flitting about the room, where he could see several of his coworkers were looking at him in utter confusion. Barry just seemed embarrassed, averting his gaze when Chris looked at him, but Jill simply smirked and gave him a thumbs up before returning to her work. Forest eventually stopped laughing after about half a minute (but what felt like eternity to Chris).

"Y-you're goddamn serious about this, bro? You're giving up _sex _for _Lent?"_

Chris found himself somewhat proudly admitting the truth, as if he was a better man for overcoming such basic desires. Forest shook his head, still chuckling, before lapsing into quiet contemplation. When he looked back up, Chris was slightly startled to see that he actually looked...worried?

"You, uh...you sure that's wise, man?"

Chris snorted. "Look who's talking about 'wise'. I distinctly remember last year's Halloween party, and you spiking the punch with absinthe. Whilst I've never seen Irons start a fight with an inflatable bat before, I-"

"Hey, shut the fuck up, dude! He could be hearing us right now!" Forest glanced around, a look of grim fear on his face. Irons had never quite worked out who had done it, but had promised supreme punishment for whoever had. Forest liked not working every weekend for six months, thank you. He shot a sharp glare at Chris before continuing.

"Look, man, I'm just saying you should think about the collateral damage. If you're blue-balling him, then he's obviously gonna have a shorter temper. As well all know, that fuse may as well be non-existent normally, but now? I just hope you know what you're doing."

Chris sighed. "Yeah, yeah, I know...but I had to do something. I, uh...mean..." Chris had suddenly gone from being the dominant one in the conversation to a submissive little bitch. _Much like my sex life..._"...d-do you even know what he's damn well done to me? Like last Thurs-" he cut himself off, shaking his head. Forest simply raised an eyebrow, looking a little confused before realising what his friend was getting at.

"O-oh fuck, look, I don't need to know that kinda shit. J-just-ugh!" Forest's tone of disgust didn't really bother Chris. He knew Forest wasn't against him because of his homosexuality, but Forest was and always would be a red-blooded male chasing after anything in a skirt. Watching the man go, his train of thought trailed back to Wesker. Chris glanced at the man's office window, where he could see Wesker pacing in his office. Maybe Forest had a point. Then again, maybe not. Only time would tell.

But Chris tended to live for the here and now, and what mattered was that in the present, all was going according to plan. Even the incident at home this morning had gone remarkably without a hitch. He smirked as he wiggled his ass in the chair once more, relishing the lack of pain, then leaned back and relaxed.

Yup, it felt good to be the king.

**/**

**AN: And so the torment shifts from Chris to Wesker...well, the guy had to get payback for being so god damn horny all the time. Anyone who gets the meerkat reference gets 300 internet points. Also, I am so sorry this took me so long to get out, I've been drawing a lot, then my laptop broke and blah blah bitch whine moan complain. Promise that I won't be too late with my next update. I also can't stop saying blue balls in this chapter...and I kinda made Forest sound a bit like a stoner. Anyway, let me know what you think and I hope you enjoyed!**


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